May 7, 2008

Mommy I'm Scared!

You remember when you were little and something scared you? I imagine most of us turned to our moms for comfort. Throughout the years she was always there with soothing words, wise words, comforting words. There were times we (I) thought "what does she know, I'm smarter than her." I went on my merry (mostly stupid) way making many mistakes, but she never said "I told you so" she was just there to pick up the pieces.

The years rolled on and I finally did get smart enough to see that my mama was not so dumb after all. Then, gradually, she was not as strong, and her age started showing on her....not so much in her appearance but in little things. About 6 years ago it became necessary to get her a life alert to wear around her neck because she would have little accidents, always in the middle of the night, and we'd get a call from the hospital that they could not get her to respond. The first time it happened, David and I drove to her house like bats out of hell...not knowing what to expect. My sweet husband told me to wait outside, he'd go in first....she had fallen near her bed coming back from the bathroom and could not get up. The central moniter for the life alert system is in her kitchen and they could not hear her response to their call. This has happened a number of times over the last few years and everytime we get that call, my heart is in my throat until we see that she is okay. Unbelievably, she has never broken any bones or had any trauma whatsoever...she just falls.

Last night was different. About 9:30 p.m. our phone rang. I was taking my bath and David came to the bathroom door saying mama's neighbor had called....mama had fallen, was "okay" and was at her house and she thought it best if we got over there. Thank goodness we live only about 2 miles away and we got there in record time. I walked in Nita's house and there sat my mom in her kitchen, holding a towel to her head, covered in blood, all over her hair, all over her clothes, all over her! She had fallen in the kitchen, tried to catch herself on the table, the table toppled over breaking and everything on the table was on the floor. I grabbed her car keys and her purse with her insurance info and we headed to the hospital. Her neighbor is a retired
nurse and knew what to do before we got there. As a matter of fact, Nita had cleaned her up some so I would not have to see mama looking like she did when she got to Nita's.

Got to the ER, they took us back right away, took CAT scan, EKG, blood work, three stitches to her head and pronounced her to be in good condition. No blood on the brain, no elevated blood pressure, etc. Of course, we sat in the ER room from 10:00 - 3:00 a.m.! Got her home, undressed, in bed, soaked her bloody clothes and made sure she was okay before I went to my house for a few hours of sleep. On the way to the ER I told her that it was time for her to move to a place where someone could check on her 24/7. There is a little retirement home a few blocks away from her house, and I pass it every day, very convenient. We are going to check it out Monday, get on the list, and list her house for sale. She's lived there 38 years.

Right now I feel like that little girl again....I'm scared and I want my mommy, but I have to be mommy to her.....please pray that God continues to keep her safe and we make a smooth transition from her home. It will be a big step for her but she now knows she cannot continue to live alone. She will be 88 on June 22nd.

Edited 5/8/08: My mama is amazing! After she got up Wednesday morning I told her we'd go to her beauty shop and get her hair washed to get all the dried blood out. The little shop she goes to caters to the "older" crowd so a lot of her friends were there and made a big fuss over her. She got her hair washed by "Ms. Mary", blow dried and styled by Kim, her regular stylist. They "worked" her right in! Then she wanted to go eat at Olive Garden! Of course, once we got there, she saw some friends and had to visit with them a little bit. After lunch we bought some b'day cards for some family members who have birthdays coming up this weekend and by then I was pooped! We got home, I changed her sheets and did a little more straightening up before I went home for a 2 hour nap. Today we met with a real estate broker who is a great friend of mine (and whose daughter and I have been friends for 20+ years), he's coming next week to list her house and she feels really good about this move. I think she's resigned herself to the inevitable and I told her we would not rush into anything, but we need to take these little baby steps so we can make it easy on her.

I want to thank everyone for your kind words and keeping us in your prayers. I hope I can repay the favor one day.


19 comments:

justabeachkat said...

Oh Judy! I'm so sorry. This is something I fear about my Mom too. She's a bit younger than your Mom (only 76), but she lives alone, so I worry. I'll pray for your Mom and you too. Keep us posted.

Hugs!
Kat

N M B said...

You and your family will be in my prayers. I can't imagine how tough this time must be for you as I'm sure no child wants to see their childhood home leave their family and someone they care so much about in such a vulnerable state. I'll be thinking about you.

Nonna said...

I'll be praying for you and your Mom that she has a smooth transition. Im so sorry to hear about her fall, but glad she is going to be ok. I hope you both have a good Mother's Day!

Lauren said...

I know that was scary! I am praying for your mom. I am glad she is going to be okay.

Picket said...

Oh Judy....my heart is in my throat..I cannot imagine the heart wrenching agony when you saw your sweet mama sitting there like that,,your words are so true "Mommy I'm scared!" It is so hard to watch our parents get older and to see them hurt is unthinkable...Gob bless you and be with you as you and your family do what is best for all of you especially your mama...take care dear friend..and when you have time I have an award for you at my place..but it's not going anywhere,,it will be there whenever you come by....God bless you sweetie!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Of course you're scared. Anybody would be in these circumstances. I'll be keeping you and your precious mom in my prayers believing that there are good answers for this current dilemma. Take good care and keep your chin up. With God's help, it's all going to work out fine and be much better for your mom and you!

Mrs. B said...

Oh Judy, I'm so sorry to hear about your scare, but I'm glad that your mom's doing okay now. I know what a hard transition this can be, but it sounds like she's taking it in stride, which is great. Your mom sounds like a wonderful lady! I'll keep you both in my prayers!

Picket said...

Oh girl....mama sounds like a true trooper! I am so glad to come here and read such a beautiful report...Hope things continue to go smoothly and that she sells her house quickly and goes on to the next phase in her beautiful life...Have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend my friend!

justabeachkat said...

I'm so glad to see your update. Praise God!

Hugs!
Kat

Mrs. B said...

Hi Judy! Just wanted to come back and wish you and your mom a very happy Mother's Day!

Joy said...

I am glad your Mom is o.k. and
considering a move. Good luck to you both.

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Carolyn

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

How hard to have to go through this! You are lucky to have eachother.
Happy Mother's Day!

Sue said...

Judy,
God bless you and your family as you go through this phase of life. I hope you and your Mother were able to enjoy this Mother's Day together.
Hugs,
Sue

Mary said...

Oh Judy, I'm so sorry for the scare you and your family had! It osunds like your mother is a wonderful person -- strong and independent and blessed with many friends. It's wonderful that she recognizes the need for these changes. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.
xoxo,
Mary

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Oh, that is so tough. I remember going through those sorts of things with my grandmothers. So scary. It is always so hard to help them make that move to a retirement home, but it sounds like your mom will handle it well! And being as social as she seems to be will help a lot! She will probably have a lot more fun surrounded by people and activities.

Take care, God bless.
melissa

Nonna said...

I'm glad your mother is doing fine. Sounds like she is quite the socialite! Its great that she has so many caring friends around her. I hope the transition goes smoothly for her. Have a great weekend!

bj said...

Judy, I am 70 and in my "Winter" season and I know that, someday in the not too distant future, I may face this, too. I have already lived 33 years in our home and I can't even imagine living somewhere else. BUT...I will be ready to go when I can no longer be trusted to take care of myself. So, I feel like your mom is the same. The LAST thing we want to do is worry our kids...When my dad moved into a home several years ago...I felt so much better that it made HIM feel better.
I'll bet your mom will make new friends there and end up just loving it....
happiness to all of you, bj

GardenGoose said...

so sorry about your mom's fall, but she sounds like a real trooper and that she'll be fine with the new change in her life.I know she's glad to have you there to help her. hugs to you both.

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