Only A Southerner Knows...

I know that not just southerners know most of these little "tidbits", but I thought it might be fun to "explain" some of our "southern speak".
1. Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit and that you don't "HAVE" them you "PITCH" them.
2. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up a "mess".
3. Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4. Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."
5. Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big ol' bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large 'nana puddin'!
7. Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy and po' white trash.
8. A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb or an adverb.
9. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues" we do "lines" and when we're "in line" we talk to everybody!
10. Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll".
11. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk". Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it---we don't like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
12. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little ol' ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say "Bless her heart" and go your own way (besides, it might be your mama)!

SOUTHERNESS - Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart."

You know you are in the presence of a true southerner if they say something like:
I've got to "carry" my mama to the doctor;" OR
"Cut off the light"; OR
"I'm fixin" to do something; OR
Bless their hearts, they don't know where "yonder" is or what "I reckon" means.

To those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Thanks to http://www.rockinghamremembered.com/ for this cute reminder of all things southern!